How do you make a smart dog go dumb?

I have a problem right now. My problem revolves around this...

My angel. I literally wept buckets when I gave her to someone else shortly after she came into my life. Thankfully, the other family wasn't able to keep her and my husband gave me one of his greatest gifts; the opportunity to take care of this precious animal. I love Athena to the point of distraction. I am willing to bend rules for her that I never bend for Mya. I let her lay on the couch with me, put her in my lap and cradle her like a baby, and am absolutely responsible for the spoiled brat that she is. That however, is not my problem.

Somehow, my 27-pound darling has figured out how to jump over the six foot fence in the backyard. I do not know if this is a result of the fact that she spends way too much time in the backyard, a fact that I freely (and shamefully) admit, or if she requires greater social stimulation than she is receiving, or maybe she has decided that she doesn't love me anymore and would rather belong to another family. All these possibilities sadden me.

The problem started when Nik and I first moved into our home. We put in a dog run due to the fact that our mutants are ridiculously strong and have the capability to destroy the backyard without breaking a sweat. The only issue at the time was Athena is so skinny she was able to slide in between the wrought iron posts. She started by squeezing out everyday after we left for work. Then she graduated to trying to escape the backyard completely. She figured out how to open our latch gate. Yes, you read correctly. My dog can open gates. This is a problem on many levels. First, she can get out of our backyard and into the neighborhood. Second, she scratches at the post until the latch springs open and thus destroys the wood post. Third, she finds an easier and faster way of opening it each time and therefore requires less and less time for her escape.

When my parents came to visit my father provided what ended up as a temporary solution, putting chicken wire around the fence so that she couldn't squeeze through the openings. Well, my little boo boo solved that problem by eating through the chicken wire. Naturally. So, we wired it shut again. I thought the world was back to normal. Then the ultimate happened.

Athena realized that by climbing on top of her dog house, she could then jump over the fence and escape the confines of her pen. This was rather annoying, especially since she made her great escape when I was in the middle of a facial. Luck was in my corner, the women who found her were very nice and more than happy to hang onto her until I made my way home. Once I picked her up I went to investigate the backyard and made the decision to pull the dog house away from the fence. Problem solved, right.

Wrong. By the next day, she was jumping over the fence without the assistance of the dog house. She was kind enough to do this while mommy was visiting daddy in Northern California. My poor friend Kristin had to drive across town, put her back in the backyard, twice, because escaping wasn't good enough once. Finally, we asked Nik's grandmother to come and pick the dogs up and hold onto them until I came back into town. Does she try and escape Oma's backyard the rest of the weekend? Of course not. My child loves her grandmother more than me, just like most children do. Now, I have to find a way of keeping my animals in my backyard without the possibility of escape.

I do have one very large plus on my side. Thankfully, the neighborhood knows and loves Athena almost as much as I do. She races up to every new person she meets and immediately falls onto her back, exposing her belly. People LOVE her. They don't want to give her back. She's the kind of dog you find on the street and don't bother trying to locate the owner. In this case, me. I don't like the idea of her bothering the people who live in my neighborhood, but my greatest fear is that one day someone will just drive off with her and won't bother to call my cell phone number located around her neck. The thought literally horrifies me.

So now I find myself in a dilemma. What do I do? My little brat is obviously brilliant, so how do I make her dumb? Do I fatten her up? Do I put in electrical fencing? All three? My brain then poses a more frightening question.

What I do if I have children that are smarter than me?