My Own Worst Enemy

Have you ever woken up in the morning and before your body even registers the transition from the state of sleep to consciousness, your mind is already going a million miles a minute? I had such an experience this morning. Usually, my brain does this to me when I have had a particularly emotional experience the night before or when I have an extremely important event taking place the next day. For example, when Nik comes home from his trips at night... the next morning I shoot awake looking for him to make sure he is indeed laying next to me and not in a hotel bed on the other side of the nation, or world for that matter. This is my brain's way of reassuring his presence so that I can calm down and go about my day in a less anxious state.

I am definitely one of "those" people whose mind is her own worst enemy. However, this is usually a result of me focusing on one particular issue for long durations of time. This morning is different because I can't seem to focus on any one thing for a period of time. Just when I begin to analyze the situation I find myself jumping to a whole other topic... it's starting to become annoying. I do not like to leave anything unresolved, yet I find myself doing exactly that. To make the situation even more interesting, I am thinking about completely random topics that really don't even require any substantial thought. Here are just a few of the issues I have been pondering all morning...

1. Why in the heck can I not go to CNN without having to look at freaking Tiger Woods cheating face? Seriously, is anyone really surprised that yet another celebrity has managed to be unfaithful to his wife? Really? There are WAY more important issues to be discussed than a lying, cheating scumbag... like, oh well, I don't know... a war, a recession, missing hikers?

2. I really really hate to wrap packages, I am the decorator of packages in my family and this year I have no one to wrap the packages that then require decorating, so I will be doing both. I just hope I don't embarrass my father, the world's most amazing (and obsessive) package wrapper at Christmas this year.

3. Where can I find a scooter to practice riding? I really want to rent a scooter when Nik and I are in Rome, I think we will cover three times the area that we would cover on foot.

4. Where the heck are the stupid cords to my camera and iPod, I still cannot find them???!!!! (see post below)

5. How is that Lifehouse still manages to create fantastic music even after 10 years? I am such a fan.

6. What a disappointment The Lost Symbol was, how could this have come from the same man who wrote Angel's and Demon's? What a bummer.

7. Why is avocado soooo good and the only thing I am allergic too?

8. Why is the woman in the homeless office at the VA such a horrid despicable individual?

9. I'm still fired up about Tiger Woods, I feel like this is Britney Spears or Anna Nicole Smith all over again. Who cares?

10. How is my Addie so beyond perfect?

11. Why am I lucky enough to be surrounded by incredible and beautiful people in my life when there are millions of others in this world who have no one?

12. When are they going to make a movie about a Nora Robert's novel? She has some really entertaining stories.

Dizzying isn't it? I desperately need my husband to come home and turn my brain off for me, he seems to be the only person who can successfully accomplish this task for any length of time = (

I MUST be getting old

I swear, I feel like I am losing my mind these last couple of weeks. I am not sure if this is a result of having to say good-bye again to my husband, the fact that I have an enormous house now with a gazillion hiding places or if I really am just starting to get old. I have always taken pride in my memory; I can usually remember someone's name the first time they tell me, even if I am meeting ten people at once, I remember little tidbits about them for years afterward and am still appalled at exactly how much brain space I have wasted on memorizing songs and quotes from movies. It's disturbing.

So why is it that in the last two weeks I have been unable to find three rather signicifant items? First, it was the bill for our mortgage. That was SUPER awesome! The reason for the sheer awesomeness of this situatioin was that after we paid the first month's mortgage, UMAC sold our mortgage to another bank. Thanks, UMAC! To make matters even more fantastic, because Lord knows they weren't interesting enough, I completely forgot about the fact that it needed to be paid on December 1st until the night of November 25th, it just had to be the night before Thanksgiving, didn't it? Of course, once the realization dawned, the incredible hunt began, which of course produced absolutely no results. Nik being the genius that he is, called the bank and made the payment over the phone with our debit card. However, when I myself called the bank on Friday to explain the circumstances and ask for our account information, they absolutely refused. They told me there was no way for them to determine that I was the home owner. Don't get me wrong, I am all about security measures, I work for an organization that follows HIPAA regulations after all! But seriously, when I provide the bank with my name, my husband's name, our social security numbers, our monthly mortgage payment, the name of our former loan holder and still manage to get rebuffed, I am not a happy girl.

My second big stupid brainfart was with the iPod USB cable. I updated my iPod a mere two weeks ago and when I went looking for it on Sunday, nada. WHAT THE HECK? I am OCPD (Obsessive Complusive Personality Disorder) to the MAX, people! It is sick just how organized I am. In the first month I was in my home you better believe that I organized all my electronic cords into plastic baggies and put them in the box marked "POWER CORDS". How in the course of a week did I lose the cord that powers and updates my favorite electronic possession? REALLY?!

The last and final brainfart that officially sent me into crazy mode and almost led me to the psychiatric ward was misplacing the USB cable to my camera. My brand-new camera that my way more amazing than I deserve husband bought ME after I lost HIS camera last year. Oh the irony. Now, I can't update everyone on the progress of my home, because I can't find the cable to upload the pictures on my camera to my laptop, so that I can then upload them onto the blog.

Words escape me that this point, I am literally speechless that at 25 I am making these kinds of mistakes. What does that leave me to look forward to in the following years?

I think I feel a headache coming on.